Seven Days!

It's now been a full week since I started living full time as a woman and it's been the best week of my whole life :) I just feel so happy to finally express my femininity on the outside and not bottle it away inside behind a mask of lies and falsehoods. I feel, well not reborn, but renewed. I feel like I'm starting my life at last, really living it and not just letting it pass me by because I'm too afraid to be myself. It's been a long road, getting from there to here, to quote from the theme tune to Star Trek: Enterprise. Nearly thirty years of denial, fear, self-hatred and self harming. Three failed suicide attempts and a few near attempts, but no more. I can't let myself be afraid to be myself any longer, I can't live a life where I do nothing, say nothing, be nothing lest I let slip the truth. I won't be afraid any longer to say proudly that I am a woman, my name is Rachel, I fancy men, I have small breasts already and I want them to get a good deal larger. I want to wear pretty jewellery, nice perfume, do my hair fancy, wear blouses, carry a handbag, use the ladies room, be one of the girls at work and one day find myself a nice boyfriend. I want to claim my womanhood, to put it succinctly, and I'm not going to apologise to anyone for it.